Don’t dwell on the past, focus on the present. You can’t drive forward looking in the rearview mirror. Leave the past in the past. How often have you heard these? They center around a belief that we need to maintain a positive focus in the present so we can move forward in life, and not be weighed down by the past, or get sucked into some emotional black hole. But do any of us stop and objectively think about the past long enough to truly reflect on how exactly it DOES shape our future? I get it; spending too much time on the thoughts of the past can easily turn into disaster, depending on what lurks under the surface. I’ve recently had some time (thank you COVID-19) to truly stop and reflect how exactly I found myself where I am in life, and as I started putting all these little random thoughts together, one thing became very clear: my past affects my present life and future ambitions (both positively and negatively) more than I ever realized. To think you can walk away from your past, leave it behind, compartmentalize it in its entirety, is as unrealistic a thought as they come. Maybe it’s a survivalists’ mantra; an attempt to sweep it under the rug, refuse acknowledgement, because to sit in it would be to stink of it. And what does acknowledgement do anyway? It certainly doesn’t change anything in the past…but could it help make better and more conscious and informed choices going forward? Had I realized how intertwined things were, I could see myself making a few decisions differently….

A little bit about me…I’m a mom and a wife trying to balance a tech career while honoring traditional norms I’ve been raised with. And I’m so not perfect in any of it. Sound familiar? It’s nothing unique or special. But what I am trying to do is share my experiences and perspectives so others might learn from it, laugh a time or two at me and with me, maybe resonate with a few people out there, in hopes of encouraging others to put their own random reflections together and discover that they aren’t that random at all…